Everyone wants to fly business or first, and not the economy ticket we normally purchase - there seem to be hidden secrets everyone - and here are some of what i found.
IT'S A WELL-GUARDED secret among business travelers that the line at security checkpoint C at Tampa International Airport regularly moves twice as fast as the one at checkpoint E. And seasoned road warriors traveling to Atlanta know that renting a car at the airport will cost them 40% more than if they rent elsewhere in the city.
These kinds of insider tips are hard-won through experience — something business travelers have in spades. After all, they make an average of seven long-distance trips per year, according to the Travel Industry Association. Leisure travelers, on the other hand, typically take fewer than three such trips.
Even though they may not fly, drive or stay in hotels that much, vacationers could learn a thing or two by watching how business travelers navigate the airport or the hotel lobby. "They've learned to play the travel game," says Terry Trippler, owner of TripplerTravel.com. The prize? Shorter wait times, less expense and, often, more convenience. Here's how you can play the game, too.
Stay at Business HotelsWhy business travelers do it: Business hotels tend to be located conveniently near places that host meetings and conventions — typically in the vicinity of the airport or downtown commercial district with easy access to major highways.
Consumer payoff: You may get an even better deal than the business travelers. Hotels that cater to business clientele are busiest during the work week, and often drop their prices on weekends in order to fill empty rooms, says Robert Mandelbaum, director of research for PKF Consulting, a hotel-industry research firm. The trade-off: Locations may not be convenient to tourist attractions. "It's not the cute boutique hotel with the great view of the water," he says. In New Orleans, for example, a standard guest room at the 3.5-star Radisson Hotel (near the airport) is $170 from Monday through Thursday, and just $116 a night on Fridays and Saturdays.
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Rooms are also more likely to include free wireless Internet and a kitchenette, which is a great bonus for vacationers who can't expense their meals. These little perks can really add up. The average hotel rate for high-speed Internet access, for example, is $10 a day, according to Consumer Reports.
Book Y-Up FaresWhy business travelers do it: On paper, so-called Y-Up, Q-Up and Z-Up tickets are full-fare coach seats. The sneaky thing about them is that these tickets come with a guaranteed upgrade to first class. Considering that companies often restrict which flight class employees can book and how much they can spend, Y-Up fares are a well-known trick of the business travel trade. Not only do business travelers get to fly in style, but they also keep corporate accounting happy.
Consumer payoff: If you were going to fly business class anyway, Y-Up and other auto-upgrade fares are a less-expensive option. But they're never a bargain, cautions George Hobica, publisher of Airfare Watchdog. "It is full-fare coach," he says. "Fares [on discount travel sites] are always cheaper." A round-trip Y-Up from New York City to Las Vegas on AirTran in May, for example, would cost $908. That's $210 less than a first-class ticket, but nearly three times the price of the cheapest coach ticket available.
Booking Y-Up fares is not the most straightforward process, however. You can book them directly through the airline or on major travel sites, but you'll often need to use advanced search options to dig them up. Farecompare.com offers a Y-Up search tool as well as a step-by-step guide to booking these fares through airline and travel sites. Before you buy, there's one more caveat: Y-Up tickets are a lot more restrictive than first class and coach. So you'll pay a premium if you need to change your reservation.
Be LoyalWhy business travelers do it: Loyalty has its privileges. Airlines, hotels and car-rental agencies often bestow repeat customers with complimentary upgrades and ample rewards. Awards can get pretty swanky. Business travelers who sock away enough flight miles (typically more than 25,000 a year) or hotel points (more than 30 nights' worth) can qualify for elite status at airlines and hotels, enjoying free upgrades and access to airport lounges.
Consumer payoff: While elite status is out of reach for most leisure travelers, racking up miles in your rewards account can still result in some pretty nice perks. Airlines are more protective of frequent fliers when bumping passengers from an overbooked aircraft, and are quicker to offer them inexpensive upgrades when available at check-in. Loyalty pays off even more quickly with car-rental agencies' reward programs. Complete two rentals at Budget, for example, and you're automatically entitled to a 10% discount on all rentals over the next year.
Fly All-Business-Class AirlinesWhy business travelers do it: The fight for a noncoach seat has grown increasingly intense. In fact, leisure travelers now take up 25% of all business-class seats, according to AirGuideOnline.com, a travel guide. All-business-class airlines like Silverjet and Eos eliminate that competition by offering a whole plane full of roomier seats, enabling the traveler's schedule to take priority.
Consumer payoff: "The price is very appealing to leisure travelers," says Hobica. You'll pay significantly less than you would for a business-class or even premium-economy seat on another airline. In peak-demand seasons (such as summer travel to Europe) fares may be just $100 or so higher than economy — well worth the upgrade for more legroom, superior food and other perks. A round-trip flight from New York to London in late July, for example, would be $1,371 on all-business class carrier Eos. The same trip on British Airways is $3,132 for business/club class, and $1,418 for premium economy (the class between economy and business that offers slightly more spacious seats).
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Gucci 30% off presale
Run to your closest Gucci store now! they are having a 30% off presale until December 3, 2007. And it is a good deal, especially on some of the handbags! This is the time to get a classic one - it will never go out of style.
In addition, I was once told "you can only score a rich husband when you dress the part" - meaning, you look like you belong in his world. And usually, this means, the nicer you dress (call this a investment in your future), the greater the chance you will have at one one RICH true love.
In addition, I was once told "you can only score a rich husband when you dress the part" - meaning, you look like you belong in his world. And usually, this means, the nicer you dress (call this a investment in your future), the greater the chance you will have at one one RICH true love.
Monday, July 16, 2007
How to Marry a Billionaire
How to marry a Billionaire
Okay - what every girl needs to know - finally a legit study (from CNN Money) on how it can be done. My only question now is - now that the trick is out - how will one individual ever stand out from the crowd?
How to marry a billionaire
Sure, the challenge is steep. But this field guide to the mating habits of the ultrarich shows just what it takes to land Mr. or Ms. Big.
By Marlys Harris, Money Magazine senior editor
July 3 2007: 9:10 AM EDT
(Money Magazine) -- Work hard, take risks, maybe build your own business. That's the traditional route to financial success. Of course, there's another highly traditional path to acquiring wealth that isn't talked about quite as much these days: Marry money.
Real money. As in not a mere millionaire (a dime a dozen these days) but an honest-to-goodness billionaire - make that 10 figures after the dollar sign, please.
But just for a moment imagine the life that could be yours if you did.
Forget the fabulous baubles, designer clothing, cutting-edge electronics and palatial mansions that your golden goose - uh, spouse - might heap upon you.
Consider the more pragmatic bonuses of the good life. No more scrimping and scraping to make your annual Roth IRA contribution. No more working until you drop to ensure a comfortable retirement. And no more worries about where your children will get into college (or how to pay for it).
A seven-figure donation from your beloved to the school of your choice and your kids are in the door, even if they're no smarter than grapefruit.
Sold? Of course you are. But how realistic is it for you, an ordinary wage slave with no more ties to the jet set than a business trip to Cleveland last month, to even meet, much less marry, a billionaire?
As a matter of scientific inquiry, Money Magazine decided to find out. To that end we analyzed the mating habits of 50 of the mega-monied to learn how they met their spouses.
We scoured the how-to-marry-rich literature and talked to society watchers, upscale matchmakers and wealth experts. And we pored over divorce news to see how spouse No. 1 was supplanted by spouse No. 2 (or 3).
Unfortunately, those who had already made it to Fat City refused to say how they got there. "I am just not telling," said one billionaire's wife over her cellphone before hanging up.
Nonetheless, our findings were encouraging. Marrying a billionaire is not beyond your grasp, as long as you're willing to work hard toward your goal. (Yes, hard work - albeit of a different kind - is still a requisite for achieving wealth.)
You will first need to identify the billionaires in your area (or their relatives) and learn their marital status. Then you'll have to study their businesses, hangouts, pets, favorite philanthropies, artists, music and vacation spots. (Google is a gold digger's best friend.)
Also required: an investment in the type of home, clothing, grooming and charity events that will help you mix among the high and mighty hoity-toity.
One cautionary note: Before you start making repeated visits to your target's golf club or home, remember that stalking is a crime in all 50 states and Washington, D.C.
Learn to live with less
First, some bad news. Forbes magazine, which has made a cottage industry of compiling lists of wealthy folks, declared this year that there are a paltry 946 billionaires in the entire world. Worse, most of them are currently married (though that does not necessarily discourage the most determined gold diggers).
The picture gets even grimmer for men. A scant 38 women appear on the list of U.S. billionaires. Average age: 63.
Lower your sights. Fortunately, the ranks of those who are filthy rich, if not quite in the billionaire stratosphere, are increasing daily.
According to Merrill Lynch and CapGemini, a consulting company, there were 85,400 ultrahigh net worth individuals (UHNWIs) in 2005, the most recent year for which data were collected. (UHNWIs are defined as those with $30 million or more.)
Many of them - up-and-coming hedge fund managers, telecom barons and Internet tycoons - may have amassed only a hundred million or so but could easily hit the Big B in a few years.
For male fortune hunters, there are widows and armies of ex-wives with humongous divorce settlements. (Yes, for all of the strides women have made in the workplace, most superrich gals do acquire their wealth through their relationships with men - and stereotypically, many of their husbands dump them when they reach a certain age.)
Take Janet Burkle, ex-wife of Ron, a Los Angeles supermarket mogul ($2.5 billion). Last year she lost her appeal to nullify a divorce agreement she claimed was unfair. The court forced her to make do with a pitiful $30 million, plus interest.
Don't forget the kids. The scions of billionaires are also numerous. While marrying less pecunious offspring may look like you're just making do, it's not a bad deal (and think about the scads they'll inherit).
New York Times foreign affairs columnist Thomas Friedman, for example, when berated by Bill O'Reilly from the right and the Washington Monthly from the left, can sob into a pillow at the $9.5 million, 11,400-square-foot house he owns with his wife Ann Bucksbaum, a shopping-center heiress.
Get down to business - his
Next step: Land the right job - one that allows you to circulate among the wealthy, of course. Just over half of the billionaires in our study met their spouses at work.
Examples: Melinda Gates was a Microsoft manager when she met Bill at a company press event. Both Anna Torv (wife No. 2) and Wendy Deng (No. 3) worked for companies owned by Rupert Murdoch ($7.7 billion), the first as a reporter, the second as a TV executive. And corporate raider Carl Icahn ($9.7 billion) made Gail Golden, his longtime assistant, wife numero dos.
The reason is obvious. Ambitious Type A+ billionaires rarely leave their offices long enough to chat up women at bars or to attend a mature singles hayride at their local church or temple.
Get an M.B.A. ASAP. To worm your way into a billionaire's business, and eventually his heart, you need the right career. An M.B.A. will give you the most flexibility. Since people think that it qualifies you to do just about anything, you can get hired just about anywhere.
Focus on industries with the most billionaires: finance (52), investments (51), service (42), media and entertainment (38), real estate (33) and oil and gas (30).
Show off your brain... Ultrarich men once gravitated toward women with the showiest plumage - or plastic surgery. That has changed, says Richard Conniff, author of The Natural History of the Rich: A Field Guide.
"Arm candy is now seen as déclassé," he notes. These days, the more prestigious your credentials and the brainier you are, the better.
Consider Anne Wojcicki, who only this May sealed the deal with Sergey Brin, Google's co-founder ($14.1 billion). She graduated with a B.S. in biology from Yale, conducted molecular biology research at the National Institutes of Health and the Weizmann Institute, and recently founded 23andMe, a genetic-research company. She met Brin through her sister Susan, a Google marketing exec with - see, we told you! - an M.B.A. from UCLA.
Women too seem to favor the brainy over the muscle-bound. Ebay's Meg Whitman ($1.2 billion), for example, is married to a neurosurgeon.
...Or make consumption your career. If you (or your close relatives) have little aptitude for Excel spreadsheets and turned in unimpressive GRE scores, you'll have to select a career that focuses on a billionaire's second-greatest preoccupation after his business: spending.
While alpha overearners may not visit their mother for months, they will gladly leave their corner office and computer screen to lavish money on pet luxuries.
Among the careers that will put you in contact with them at this vulnerable moment: real estate (with a specialty in mansions); luxury-car, private-jet or yacht sales; work at museums, galleries or high-end antique shops; interior design or architecture (again, specialize in mansions); and race-horse training.
Timeworn but still good: personal trainer or golf or tennis pro.
Join the leisure class
Don't despair if your job takes you no closer to wealth than the dollar store. There are plenty of other activities that the resolute billionaire hunter can pursue to mix with the excessively prosperous during evenings or on weekends.
Move close to where they live. "You need to move into a rich environment," says Ginie Sayles, a Houston marital consultant and author of How to Marry the Rich. "If you want to be rich, you must live where the rich live, even if it's in an attic."
She claims that no matter what your budget, you can find a hidey-hole "within 16 blocks of the big money."
By hanging out in a ritzy neighborhood, you'll get comfortable with wealthy people and attuned to what they like. And you'll greatly increase your chances of running into a billionaire at, say, the local Starbucks.
Get thee to a gallery. Billionaires' expansive estates, urban pieds-à-terre and quaint 30,000-square-foot country homes confront them with the task of covering vast stretches of empty walls and filling echoing foyers with something. That means they are constantly on the prowl for paintings, sculptures and other objets d'art that will do the job. So prowl where they prowl.
For starters, cultivate a taste for museums and become a member, not a visitor. At the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, for example, you can become a supporting member for $250 a year. That entitles you to attend hosted exhibition previews and receptions where you can elbow your way into the elite.
If you're willing to go without dinner for a few months, invest in a $1,500 membership in the Artist's Circle, which provides much greater mingling opportunities, including evening receptions, private viewings for major exhibitions and priority invitations to special events such as the biennial art auction.
Christopher London, editor of the website ManhattanSociety.com, which covers cultural and philanthropic events in New York City, recommends that you attend as many gallery openings as possible.
"A chance encounter could easily lead to dinner," he says.
Every major city has a Web site that lists openings. For instance, if you visit ArtSceneCal.com, which covers galleries in Southern California, you'd find that you could view a new artist almost any night of the week. Better yet, you'll avoid another Chinese takeout dinner by scarfing the wine and hors d'oeuvres that galleries serve to ease buyers' grip on their wallets.
Show them the Monet. If you can't tell the difference between Jasper Johns and Johns Hopkins, study up so you can converse. It doesn't matter what you say specifically as long as you sound knowledgeable.
Even though he collected Impressionist works, hedge fund biggie Ken Griffin ($1.7 billion) didn't get mad when his date, Anne Dias, dismissed the movement as something she'd outgrown. Instead, he married her.
Money Magazine suggests that you specialize in the eras that interest the greatest number of billionaires. For example, Milt Esterow, editor and publisher of ARTnews, counsels that you focus on modern (late 19th century to 1970 or so) and contemporary art (post-1970), which are what le tout billionairage have been buying. Indeed, 85% of ARTnews' annual list of the 200 top collectors listed those two periods among their specialties.
Change the world
Getting and spending might be enough to fill your life with satisfaction, but for those who are loaded, there's a greater joy - and an even bigger tax deduction: giving money to others.
What other tasteful way is there to prove that you are truly a moneybags than to fork over a few mil to the Nature Conservancy, your alma mater or the hospital that performed Granny's hip replacement?
Look for good benefits. The fervor to give fuels an endless round of charity balls, silent auctions and golf tournaments in every town. There aggressive overachievers compete with one another to donate the most in what Milton Pedraza, head of the Luxury Institute, a market research company that studies the wealthy, calls the "alms race."
Now thanks to the Internet, you can ferret out those shindigs. Just type "charity events" and your city's name into a search engine and press "Go."
Not all charities are created equal in the hearts and wallets of the superrich. To figure out which nonprofits are most likely to put you in touch with people of ultrahigh net worth, peruse the Chronicle of Philanthropy to see what causes top givers favor.
You would learn, for example, that Veronica Atkins, widow of low-carb diet guru Robert, has a $400 million fortune to share. Her philanthropic cause: obesity research (duh). She is bound to visit - even be honored by - the hospitals and universities to which she has given dough.
Cultivate dowagers. In some cities there's an unspoken hierarchy of charities, says Richard Conniff. Newcomers to Palm Beach usually join the Opera Guild, which, he says, accepts anybody whose check doesn't bounce.
But it may take a few years to learn that the Preservation Foundation and the Rehabilitation Center for Children and Adults are considered the most prestigious and are more likely to win you invitations to private parties. Study the society pages and ask around to learn which charities are best for your purpose.
Shelby Hodge, society columnist for the Houston Chronicle, likes the American Heart Association and the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center's Board of Visitors, among other charities.
She recommends that you attend the annual gala or dinner. That usually costs about $1,000, but doing so is worthwhile. Even if you wind up seated with a group of dowagers instead of wealthy bachelors, Hodge says, "those women can be your entry point."
There's no way the average Joe or Jane can cough up $1,000 every night or even every week, but Christopher London suggests that you can cut your costs by as much as 75% if you attend the so-called junior events - cocktail parties and dances that occur before and after the big charity dinner. Don't let the word junior put you off; most who attend are in their late thirties and forties, London says.
Become a charity yourself. Usually you can just buy a ticket - after all, it is a benefit. But some events admit only those with invitations. A person of your humble means is not likely to be included unless you are a regular volunteer -"but not stuffing envelopes," says Hodge.
Instead, she advises, you should set your sights on more highfalutin activities that will vault you into the upper echelons of the philanthropy - say, fund raising. Unfortunately, to sit on a committee you may have to donate $10,000 or so to the cause.
Another possibility: Become a grantee yourself. Pedraza suggests that you develop your own do-gooder project, such as a documentary on the environment, and take it around to charities, foundations and arts councils that might fund it. You may not meet a billionaire, but who knows, maybe you'll become the next Al Gore.
Hire a professional
Not everybody wants to deal with the hassle and expense of sussing out an appropriate ultrahigh net worthy. For such people there are experts who, for a fee, will help you.
Ginie Sayles offers seminars around the country on marrying rich ($50 to $150 a person), as well as $500-an-hour private sessions. Using a 14-point system to help hoi polloi ramp up their classiness, she says, her clients have married several multimillionaires in her 20 years in business. (If you can't afford her, study her books or buy the seminar on DVD.)
Patti Stanger, founder and CEO of MillionairesClub123.com, with offices in California, Florida, Canada and the United Kingdom, charges nothing for women aspiring to marry well to be part of her pool of eligibles.
But rich clients looking for love pay from $10,000 to $150,000, depending on the amount of territory the zillionaire expects her and her staff to cover in their search. (The top charge is for a worldwide hunt.)
Stanger counsels customers to "date for love, just in a rich pond. You do not marry for money because, at the end of the day, he could lose his money, and you end up with a toad."
Janis Spindel, owner of Serious Matchmaking in New York City, charges her clients, all of them affluent men, $20,000 for introductions to the right kind of marriageable women.
To get on her list of eligibles, you'll have to fill out a 14-page questionnaire (available in her book Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year) or meet privately with her (charge: $1,000) or an assistant ($500) for half an hour. But there's no guarantee you'll be accepted.
Become a status faker
You'll never be able to close the deal, however, unless you look and act the part of a suitable spouse to serious money.
Be a class act. To attract the attention of the wealthy guys and gals who pique your interest, you have to dress appropriately. Montgomery Frazier, a New York image consultant who says he revamped Katie Couric for CBS, recommends taking your inspiration from designers Calvin Klein and Carolina Herrera, whose clothes, he says, "are sexy but with some sophistication."
Marc Jacobs, Christian LouBoutin and Dior are his favorites for shoes, but good-looking knockoffs are available from Banana Republic and Zara.
Pearls are "too preppy," Frazier says. "Wear small diamond earrings."
Men, as you might guess, need less: Good hygiene, a black suit, a tux and some gray slacks are enough, says Christopher London.
Be into what he's into. Once you zero in on a prospect, you'll have to look as if you're interested in what he or she likes. So spend some time boning up on thoroughbred horses, JAR jewelry, Modigliani and your billionaire's business.
Should you play hard to get or hop into the sack on the first date? Those are questions better left to Cosmo and Esquire. But Money Magazine is confident in advising this: If you do make it to the altar, hire a smart lawyer to negotiate the best terms on your prenup.
Despite all the luxuries that marriage ultimately heaps upon you, don't expect the proverbial bed of roses, counsels David Patrick Columbia, editor of NewYorkSocialDiary.com, a Web site devoted to the doings of the fabulously classy.
Having observed many who married for money over the years, he says, "The rich person can be a pain in the ass," adding that he or she often demands to be waited on hand and foot, arm and toe.
But no matter how difficult things get, hang in there. The longer you stay, the more the court will award you if the marriage fails. There's no reason, after all, that your divorce shouldn't be every bit as lucrative as your marriage.
Okay - what every girl needs to know - finally a legit study (from CNN Money) on how it can be done. My only question now is - now that the trick is out - how will one individual ever stand out from the crowd?
How to marry a billionaire
Sure, the challenge is steep. But this field guide to the mating habits of the ultrarich shows just what it takes to land Mr. or Ms. Big.
By Marlys Harris, Money Magazine senior editor
July 3 2007: 9:10 AM EDT
(Money Magazine) -- Work hard, take risks, maybe build your own business. That's the traditional route to financial success. Of course, there's another highly traditional path to acquiring wealth that isn't talked about quite as much these days: Marry money.
Real money. As in not a mere millionaire (a dime a dozen these days) but an honest-to-goodness billionaire - make that 10 figures after the dollar sign, please.
But just for a moment imagine the life that could be yours if you did.
Forget the fabulous baubles, designer clothing, cutting-edge electronics and palatial mansions that your golden goose - uh, spouse - might heap upon you.
Consider the more pragmatic bonuses of the good life. No more scrimping and scraping to make your annual Roth IRA contribution. No more working until you drop to ensure a comfortable retirement. And no more worries about where your children will get into college (or how to pay for it).
A seven-figure donation from your beloved to the school of your choice and your kids are in the door, even if they're no smarter than grapefruit.
Sold? Of course you are. But how realistic is it for you, an ordinary wage slave with no more ties to the jet set than a business trip to Cleveland last month, to even meet, much less marry, a billionaire?
As a matter of scientific inquiry, Money Magazine decided to find out. To that end we analyzed the mating habits of 50 of the mega-monied to learn how they met their spouses.
We scoured the how-to-marry-rich literature and talked to society watchers, upscale matchmakers and wealth experts. And we pored over divorce news to see how spouse No. 1 was supplanted by spouse No. 2 (or 3).
Unfortunately, those who had already made it to Fat City refused to say how they got there. "I am just not telling," said one billionaire's wife over her cellphone before hanging up.
Nonetheless, our findings were encouraging. Marrying a billionaire is not beyond your grasp, as long as you're willing to work hard toward your goal. (Yes, hard work - albeit of a different kind - is still a requisite for achieving wealth.)
You will first need to identify the billionaires in your area (or their relatives) and learn their marital status. Then you'll have to study their businesses, hangouts, pets, favorite philanthropies, artists, music and vacation spots. (Google is a gold digger's best friend.)
Also required: an investment in the type of home, clothing, grooming and charity events that will help you mix among the high and mighty hoity-toity.
One cautionary note: Before you start making repeated visits to your target's golf club or home, remember that stalking is a crime in all 50 states and Washington, D.C.
Learn to live with less
First, some bad news. Forbes magazine, which has made a cottage industry of compiling lists of wealthy folks, declared this year that there are a paltry 946 billionaires in the entire world. Worse, most of them are currently married (though that does not necessarily discourage the most determined gold diggers).
The picture gets even grimmer for men. A scant 38 women appear on the list of U.S. billionaires. Average age: 63.
Lower your sights. Fortunately, the ranks of those who are filthy rich, if not quite in the billionaire stratosphere, are increasing daily.
According to Merrill Lynch and CapGemini, a consulting company, there were 85,400 ultrahigh net worth individuals (UHNWIs) in 2005, the most recent year for which data were collected. (UHNWIs are defined as those with $30 million or more.)
Many of them - up-and-coming hedge fund managers, telecom barons and Internet tycoons - may have amassed only a hundred million or so but could easily hit the Big B in a few years.
For male fortune hunters, there are widows and armies of ex-wives with humongous divorce settlements. (Yes, for all of the strides women have made in the workplace, most superrich gals do acquire their wealth through their relationships with men - and stereotypically, many of their husbands dump them when they reach a certain age.)
Take Janet Burkle, ex-wife of Ron, a Los Angeles supermarket mogul ($2.5 billion). Last year she lost her appeal to nullify a divorce agreement she claimed was unfair. The court forced her to make do with a pitiful $30 million, plus interest.
Don't forget the kids. The scions of billionaires are also numerous. While marrying less pecunious offspring may look like you're just making do, it's not a bad deal (and think about the scads they'll inherit).
New York Times foreign affairs columnist Thomas Friedman, for example, when berated by Bill O'Reilly from the right and the Washington Monthly from the left, can sob into a pillow at the $9.5 million, 11,400-square-foot house he owns with his wife Ann Bucksbaum, a shopping-center heiress.
Get down to business - his
Next step: Land the right job - one that allows you to circulate among the wealthy, of course. Just over half of the billionaires in our study met their spouses at work.
Examples: Melinda Gates was a Microsoft manager when she met Bill at a company press event. Both Anna Torv (wife No. 2) and Wendy Deng (No. 3) worked for companies owned by Rupert Murdoch ($7.7 billion), the first as a reporter, the second as a TV executive. And corporate raider Carl Icahn ($9.7 billion) made Gail Golden, his longtime assistant, wife numero dos.
The reason is obvious. Ambitious Type A+ billionaires rarely leave their offices long enough to chat up women at bars or to attend a mature singles hayride at their local church or temple.
Get an M.B.A. ASAP. To worm your way into a billionaire's business, and eventually his heart, you need the right career. An M.B.A. will give you the most flexibility. Since people think that it qualifies you to do just about anything, you can get hired just about anywhere.
Focus on industries with the most billionaires: finance (52), investments (51), service (42), media and entertainment (38), real estate (33) and oil and gas (30).
Show off your brain... Ultrarich men once gravitated toward women with the showiest plumage - or plastic surgery. That has changed, says Richard Conniff, author of The Natural History of the Rich: A Field Guide.
"Arm candy is now seen as déclassé," he notes. These days, the more prestigious your credentials and the brainier you are, the better.
Consider Anne Wojcicki, who only this May sealed the deal with Sergey Brin, Google's co-founder ($14.1 billion). She graduated with a B.S. in biology from Yale, conducted molecular biology research at the National Institutes of Health and the Weizmann Institute, and recently founded 23andMe, a genetic-research company. She met Brin through her sister Susan, a Google marketing exec with - see, we told you! - an M.B.A. from UCLA.
Women too seem to favor the brainy over the muscle-bound. Ebay's Meg Whitman ($1.2 billion), for example, is married to a neurosurgeon.
...Or make consumption your career. If you (or your close relatives) have little aptitude for Excel spreadsheets and turned in unimpressive GRE scores, you'll have to select a career that focuses on a billionaire's second-greatest preoccupation after his business: spending.
While alpha overearners may not visit their mother for months, they will gladly leave their corner office and computer screen to lavish money on pet luxuries.
Among the careers that will put you in contact with them at this vulnerable moment: real estate (with a specialty in mansions); luxury-car, private-jet or yacht sales; work at museums, galleries or high-end antique shops; interior design or architecture (again, specialize in mansions); and race-horse training.
Timeworn but still good: personal trainer or golf or tennis pro.
Join the leisure class
Don't despair if your job takes you no closer to wealth than the dollar store. There are plenty of other activities that the resolute billionaire hunter can pursue to mix with the excessively prosperous during evenings or on weekends.
Move close to where they live. "You need to move into a rich environment," says Ginie Sayles, a Houston marital consultant and author of How to Marry the Rich. "If you want to be rich, you must live where the rich live, even if it's in an attic."
She claims that no matter what your budget, you can find a hidey-hole "within 16 blocks of the big money."
By hanging out in a ritzy neighborhood, you'll get comfortable with wealthy people and attuned to what they like. And you'll greatly increase your chances of running into a billionaire at, say, the local Starbucks.
Get thee to a gallery. Billionaires' expansive estates, urban pieds-à-terre and quaint 30,000-square-foot country homes confront them with the task of covering vast stretches of empty walls and filling echoing foyers with something. That means they are constantly on the prowl for paintings, sculptures and other objets d'art that will do the job. So prowl where they prowl.
For starters, cultivate a taste for museums and become a member, not a visitor. At the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, for example, you can become a supporting member for $250 a year. That entitles you to attend hosted exhibition previews and receptions where you can elbow your way into the elite.
If you're willing to go without dinner for a few months, invest in a $1,500 membership in the Artist's Circle, which provides much greater mingling opportunities, including evening receptions, private viewings for major exhibitions and priority invitations to special events such as the biennial art auction.
Christopher London, editor of the website ManhattanSociety.com, which covers cultural and philanthropic events in New York City, recommends that you attend as many gallery openings as possible.
"A chance encounter could easily lead to dinner," he says.
Every major city has a Web site that lists openings. For instance, if you visit ArtSceneCal.com, which covers galleries in Southern California, you'd find that you could view a new artist almost any night of the week. Better yet, you'll avoid another Chinese takeout dinner by scarfing the wine and hors d'oeuvres that galleries serve to ease buyers' grip on their wallets.
Show them the Monet. If you can't tell the difference between Jasper Johns and Johns Hopkins, study up so you can converse. It doesn't matter what you say specifically as long as you sound knowledgeable.
Even though he collected Impressionist works, hedge fund biggie Ken Griffin ($1.7 billion) didn't get mad when his date, Anne Dias, dismissed the movement as something she'd outgrown. Instead, he married her.
Money Magazine suggests that you specialize in the eras that interest the greatest number of billionaires. For example, Milt Esterow, editor and publisher of ARTnews, counsels that you focus on modern (late 19th century to 1970 or so) and contemporary art (post-1970), which are what le tout billionairage have been buying. Indeed, 85% of ARTnews' annual list of the 200 top collectors listed those two periods among their specialties.
Change the world
Getting and spending might be enough to fill your life with satisfaction, but for those who are loaded, there's a greater joy - and an even bigger tax deduction: giving money to others.
What other tasteful way is there to prove that you are truly a moneybags than to fork over a few mil to the Nature Conservancy, your alma mater or the hospital that performed Granny's hip replacement?
Look for good benefits. The fervor to give fuels an endless round of charity balls, silent auctions and golf tournaments in every town. There aggressive overachievers compete with one another to donate the most in what Milton Pedraza, head of the Luxury Institute, a market research company that studies the wealthy, calls the "alms race."
Now thanks to the Internet, you can ferret out those shindigs. Just type "charity events" and your city's name into a search engine and press "Go."
Not all charities are created equal in the hearts and wallets of the superrich. To figure out which nonprofits are most likely to put you in touch with people of ultrahigh net worth, peruse the Chronicle of Philanthropy to see what causes top givers favor.
You would learn, for example, that Veronica Atkins, widow of low-carb diet guru Robert, has a $400 million fortune to share. Her philanthropic cause: obesity research (duh). She is bound to visit - even be honored by - the hospitals and universities to which she has given dough.
Cultivate dowagers. In some cities there's an unspoken hierarchy of charities, says Richard Conniff. Newcomers to Palm Beach usually join the Opera Guild, which, he says, accepts anybody whose check doesn't bounce.
But it may take a few years to learn that the Preservation Foundation and the Rehabilitation Center for Children and Adults are considered the most prestigious and are more likely to win you invitations to private parties. Study the society pages and ask around to learn which charities are best for your purpose.
Shelby Hodge, society columnist for the Houston Chronicle, likes the American Heart Association and the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center's Board of Visitors, among other charities.
She recommends that you attend the annual gala or dinner. That usually costs about $1,000, but doing so is worthwhile. Even if you wind up seated with a group of dowagers instead of wealthy bachelors, Hodge says, "those women can be your entry point."
There's no way the average Joe or Jane can cough up $1,000 every night or even every week, but Christopher London suggests that you can cut your costs by as much as 75% if you attend the so-called junior events - cocktail parties and dances that occur before and after the big charity dinner. Don't let the word junior put you off; most who attend are in their late thirties and forties, London says.
Become a charity yourself. Usually you can just buy a ticket - after all, it is a benefit. But some events admit only those with invitations. A person of your humble means is not likely to be included unless you are a regular volunteer -"but not stuffing envelopes," says Hodge.
Instead, she advises, you should set your sights on more highfalutin activities that will vault you into the upper echelons of the philanthropy - say, fund raising. Unfortunately, to sit on a committee you may have to donate $10,000 or so to the cause.
Another possibility: Become a grantee yourself. Pedraza suggests that you develop your own do-gooder project, such as a documentary on the environment, and take it around to charities, foundations and arts councils that might fund it. You may not meet a billionaire, but who knows, maybe you'll become the next Al Gore.
Hire a professional
Not everybody wants to deal with the hassle and expense of sussing out an appropriate ultrahigh net worthy. For such people there are experts who, for a fee, will help you.
Ginie Sayles offers seminars around the country on marrying rich ($50 to $150 a person), as well as $500-an-hour private sessions. Using a 14-point system to help hoi polloi ramp up their classiness, she says, her clients have married several multimillionaires in her 20 years in business. (If you can't afford her, study her books or buy the seminar on DVD.)
Patti Stanger, founder and CEO of MillionairesClub123.com, with offices in California, Florida, Canada and the United Kingdom, charges nothing for women aspiring to marry well to be part of her pool of eligibles.
But rich clients looking for love pay from $10,000 to $150,000, depending on the amount of territory the zillionaire expects her and her staff to cover in their search. (The top charge is for a worldwide hunt.)
Stanger counsels customers to "date for love, just in a rich pond. You do not marry for money because, at the end of the day, he could lose his money, and you end up with a toad."
Janis Spindel, owner of Serious Matchmaking in New York City, charges her clients, all of them affluent men, $20,000 for introductions to the right kind of marriageable women.
To get on her list of eligibles, you'll have to fill out a 14-page questionnaire (available in her book Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year) or meet privately with her (charge: $1,000) or an assistant ($500) for half an hour. But there's no guarantee you'll be accepted.
Become a status faker
You'll never be able to close the deal, however, unless you look and act the part of a suitable spouse to serious money.
Be a class act. To attract the attention of the wealthy guys and gals who pique your interest, you have to dress appropriately. Montgomery Frazier, a New York image consultant who says he revamped Katie Couric for CBS, recommends taking your inspiration from designers Calvin Klein and Carolina Herrera, whose clothes, he says, "are sexy but with some sophistication."
Marc Jacobs, Christian LouBoutin and Dior are his favorites for shoes, but good-looking knockoffs are available from Banana Republic and Zara.
Pearls are "too preppy," Frazier says. "Wear small diamond earrings."
Men, as you might guess, need less: Good hygiene, a black suit, a tux and some gray slacks are enough, says Christopher London.
Be into what he's into. Once you zero in on a prospect, you'll have to look as if you're interested in what he or she likes. So spend some time boning up on thoroughbred horses, JAR jewelry, Modigliani and your billionaire's business.
Should you play hard to get or hop into the sack on the first date? Those are questions better left to Cosmo and Esquire. But Money Magazine is confident in advising this: If you do make it to the altar, hire a smart lawyer to negotiate the best terms on your prenup.
Despite all the luxuries that marriage ultimately heaps upon you, don't expect the proverbial bed of roses, counsels David Patrick Columbia, editor of NewYorkSocialDiary.com, a Web site devoted to the doings of the fabulously classy.
Having observed many who married for money over the years, he says, "The rich person can be a pain in the ass," adding that he or she often demands to be waited on hand and foot, arm and toe.
But no matter how difficult things get, hang in there. The longer you stay, the more the court will award you if the marriage fails. There's no reason, after all, that your divorce shouldn't be every bit as lucrative as your marriage.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Everyone just needs loving!
A Gate-Crasher's Change of Heart
The Guests Were Enjoying French Wine and Cheese on a Capitol Hill Patio. When a Gunman Burst In, the Would-Be Robbery Took an Unusual Turn
By Allison KleinWashington Post Staff WriterFriday, July 13, 2007;
A grand feast of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp was winding down, and a group of friends was sitting on the back patio of a Capitol Hill home, sipping red wine. Suddenly, a hooded man slid in through an open gate and put the barrel of a handgun to the head of a 14-year-old guest.
"Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," he demanded, according to D.C. police and witness accounts.
While he was at a Capitol Hill party last month, Michael Rabdau, above, and his wife watched as a man intruded upon the guests gathered in the back yard of their host's home and held a gun to his 14-year-old daughter's head. "I was definitely expecting there would be some kind of casualty," Rabdau said. (By Ricky Carioti -- The Washington Post)
The five other guests, including the girls' parents, froze -- and then one spoke.
"We were just finishing dinner," Cristina "Cha Cha" Rowan, 43, blurted out. "Why don't you have a glass of wine with us?"
The intruder took a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupéry and said, "Damn, that's good wine."
The girl's father, Michael Rabdau, 51, who described the harrowing evening in an interview, told the intruder, described as being in his 20s, to take the whole glass. Rowan offered him the bottle. The would-be robber, his hood now down, took another sip and had a bite of Camembert cheese that was on the table.
Then he tucked the gun into the pocket of his nylon sweatpants.
"I think I may have come to the wrong house," he said, looking around the patio of the home in the 1300 block of Constitution Avenue NE.
"I'm sorry," he told the group. "Can I get a hug?"
Rowan, who lives in Falls Church and works part time at her children's school, stood up and wrapped her arms around him. Then it was Rabdau's turn. Then his wife's. The other two guests complied.
"That's really good wine," the man said, taking another sip. He had a final request: "Can we have a group hug?"
The five adults surrounded him, arms out.
The Guests Were Enjoying French Wine and Cheese on a Capitol Hill Patio. When a Gunman Burst In, the Would-Be Robbery Took an Unusual Turn
By Allison KleinWashington Post Staff WriterFriday, July 13, 2007;
A grand feast of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp was winding down, and a group of friends was sitting on the back patio of a Capitol Hill home, sipping red wine. Suddenly, a hooded man slid in through an open gate and put the barrel of a handgun to the head of a 14-year-old guest.
"Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," he demanded, according to D.C. police and witness accounts.
While he was at a Capitol Hill party last month, Michael Rabdau, above, and his wife watched as a man intruded upon the guests gathered in the back yard of their host's home and held a gun to his 14-year-old daughter's head. "I was definitely expecting there would be some kind of casualty," Rabdau said. (By Ricky Carioti -- The Washington Post)
The five other guests, including the girls' parents, froze -- and then one spoke.
"We were just finishing dinner," Cristina "Cha Cha" Rowan, 43, blurted out. "Why don't you have a glass of wine with us?"
The intruder took a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupéry and said, "Damn, that's good wine."
The girl's father, Michael Rabdau, 51, who described the harrowing evening in an interview, told the intruder, described as being in his 20s, to take the whole glass. Rowan offered him the bottle. The would-be robber, his hood now down, took another sip and had a bite of Camembert cheese that was on the table.
Then he tucked the gun into the pocket of his nylon sweatpants.
"I think I may have come to the wrong house," he said, looking around the patio of the home in the 1300 block of Constitution Avenue NE.
"I'm sorry," he told the group. "Can I get a hug?"
Rowan, who lives in Falls Church and works part time at her children's school, stood up and wrapped her arms around him. Then it was Rabdau's turn. Then his wife's. The other two guests complied.
"That's really good wine," the man said, taking another sip. He had a final request: "Can we have a group hug?"
The five adults surrounded him, arms out.
Monday, July 09, 2007
came across this arcitule when i opened my E-mail from NY Lawyers...what will ppl come up with next!
Man Flunks Bar, Sues Massachusetts for $9.75 Million Over Gay Marriage "Trick" Question
New York LawyerJuly 9, 2007
By The Associated Press
BOSTON -- A man said he failed the Massachusetts bar exam because he refused to answer a question about gay marriage, and claims in a federal lawsuit the test violated his rights and targeted his religious beliefs.
The suit also challenges the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, which was legalized in Massachusetts in 2003.
Stephen Dunne, who is representing himself in the case and seeks $9.75 million, said the bar exam was not the place for a "morally repugnant and patently offensive" question addressing the rights of two married lesbians, their children and their property. He said he refused to answer the question because he believed it legitimized same-sex marriage and same-sex parenting, which is contrary to his moral beliefs.
Dunne, 30, was denied a license to practice law in May after scoring 268.866 on the exam, just shy of the 270 passing grade.
His lawsuit against the Massachusetts Board of Bar Examiners and the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court also claims the state government is "purposely advancing secular humanism's homosexual agenda."
The "disguised mechanism to screen applicants according to their political ideology has the discriminatory impact of persecuting and oppressing (Dunne's) sincere religious practices and beliefs" protected by the First Amendment, and was "invasive and burdensome," according to the lawsuit filed last month.
Dunne's telephone number was unlisted. He told the Boston Herald he has a law degree from a Boston law school and is attending a Boston business school.
Officials with the state bar would not say how much the questions are worth or how the tests are scored, and the court also declined to comment.
David Yas, editor of Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly, said the suit was "idiotic" and that Dunne was "completely missing the point about what it means to be a lawyer."
"Knowing the law has nothing to do with agreeing with the law," he said. Yas said if Dunne really believed the question was improper, he should "answer the question correctly, get your law degree and use it to argue for what you believe in."
Lee Swislow, executive director of Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, said Dunne is trying to use a legal question to advance a political agenda.
"The bar exam was a test of whether he knew how to apply domestic relations law, and he refused to answer," she said. "Now he's suing, and I think that makes him a loser."
Man Flunks Bar, Sues Massachusetts for $9.75 Million Over Gay Marriage "Trick" Question
New York LawyerJuly 9, 2007
By The Associated Press
BOSTON -- A man said he failed the Massachusetts bar exam because he refused to answer a question about gay marriage, and claims in a federal lawsuit the test violated his rights and targeted his religious beliefs.
The suit also challenges the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, which was legalized in Massachusetts in 2003.
Stephen Dunne, who is representing himself in the case and seeks $9.75 million, said the bar exam was not the place for a "morally repugnant and patently offensive" question addressing the rights of two married lesbians, their children and their property. He said he refused to answer the question because he believed it legitimized same-sex marriage and same-sex parenting, which is contrary to his moral beliefs.
Dunne, 30, was denied a license to practice law in May after scoring 268.866 on the exam, just shy of the 270 passing grade.
His lawsuit against the Massachusetts Board of Bar Examiners and the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court also claims the state government is "purposely advancing secular humanism's homosexual agenda."
The "disguised mechanism to screen applicants according to their political ideology has the discriminatory impact of persecuting and oppressing (Dunne's) sincere religious practices and beliefs" protected by the First Amendment, and was "invasive and burdensome," according to the lawsuit filed last month.
Dunne's telephone number was unlisted. He told the Boston Herald he has a law degree from a Boston law school and is attending a Boston business school.
Officials with the state bar would not say how much the questions are worth or how the tests are scored, and the court also declined to comment.
David Yas, editor of Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly, said the suit was "idiotic" and that Dunne was "completely missing the point about what it means to be a lawyer."
"Knowing the law has nothing to do with agreeing with the law," he said. Yas said if Dunne really believed the question was improper, he should "answer the question correctly, get your law degree and use it to argue for what you believe in."
Lee Swislow, executive director of Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, said Dunne is trying to use a legal question to advance a political agenda.
"The bar exam was a test of whether he knew how to apply domestic relations law, and he refused to answer," she said. "Now he's suing, and I think that makes him a loser."
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
How much does "Esquire" Worth?
Today, an attorney friend who does contract work sent me an e-mail forward. One of the contract companies that she works for is looking for people to staff a "Short-term Chinese language project, 2-3 day assignment paying $50/hr in downtown DC. No law degree required."
People with language skills usually love these language projects because the hourly pay is higher than regular attorney contract project. But that is just the problem!!! For example, take this project, it will pay $50/hr, and no law degree required. Normal attorney contract projects will pay from $35/hr-$40/hr. Basically, the market place is telling us that a JD is not worth as much as a language skill.
So let's do the math, three years of JD, at least $200,000 spent...hmmmm....how much would it cost for me to study abroad for one year (and usually with one year immersed in a foreign language, you pick up enough to do simple translations or reading of documents etc, which is all you need for these "language" projects). So in the three years it will take me to get that "Esquire" behind my name, I would have picked up three different languages while travelling the world.
And according to the pay rate of these projects:
1. As an attorney, with 40 hr a week of work, I would make $1400.
2. As someone who can speak and read a foreign language, I would make $2000
if we take in overtime, usually overtime is required in these projects, then the gap would increase even more. (overtime will result in a pay of 1.5 times the hourly rate)
Let's take the usual 50 hr week
1. As an attorney: $1925
1. As a language "specialist": $2750
the difference is $825 - basically, a language is worth $825 more a week, which is $9900 more a year than 3 years of JD, and then the painful process of studying for the bar on those nice summer days for 8 hrs a day, 7 days a week for 2 month immediately upon graduation to obtain that 'Esquire".
in short, so an "esquire" is not worth the $825 a week law firms would pay someone immersed in another language.
People with language skills usually love these language projects because the hourly pay is higher than regular attorney contract project. But that is just the problem!!! For example, take this project, it will pay $50/hr, and no law degree required. Normal attorney contract projects will pay from $35/hr-$40/hr. Basically, the market place is telling us that a JD is not worth as much as a language skill.
So let's do the math, three years of JD, at least $200,000 spent...hmmmm....how much would it cost for me to study abroad for one year (and usually with one year immersed in a foreign language, you pick up enough to do simple translations or reading of documents etc, which is all you need for these "language" projects). So in the three years it will take me to get that "Esquire" behind my name, I would have picked up three different languages while travelling the world.
And according to the pay rate of these projects:
1. As an attorney, with 40 hr a week of work, I would make $1400.
2. As someone who can speak and read a foreign language, I would make $2000
if we take in overtime, usually overtime is required in these projects, then the gap would increase even more. (overtime will result in a pay of 1.5 times the hourly rate)
Let's take the usual 50 hr week
1. As an attorney: $1925
1. As a language "specialist": $2750
the difference is $825 - basically, a language is worth $825 more a week, which is $9900 more a year than 3 years of JD, and then the painful process of studying for the bar on those nice summer days for 8 hrs a day, 7 days a week for 2 month immediately upon graduation to obtain that 'Esquire".
in short, so an "esquire" is not worth the $825 a week law firms would pay someone immersed in another language.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Final Four
Georgetown has finally made it back to the final four!
During the last game against UNC - at one point, they were down by more the 10 points, but they came back and with 40 seconds left, Wallace made an critical three pointer to tie the game. in OT, the Hoyas was unstoppable, and out-performed UNC to earn the seat to the final four!
How exciting - I wish this happened when I was still in Georgetown!
The next game will be on Saturday March 31, 2007 at 6pm!
During the last game against UNC - at one point, they were down by more the 10 points, but they came back and with 40 seconds left, Wallace made an critical three pointer to tie the game. in OT, the Hoyas was unstoppable, and out-performed UNC to earn the seat to the final four!
How exciting - I wish this happened when I was still in Georgetown!
The next game will be on Saturday March 31, 2007 at 6pm!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Scotch Tasting
Last Thursday I went to my first scotch tasting. As I get older, more and more of my friends are drinking scotch - something I know nothing about... so to learn more, I went to my first scotch tasting event. I was surprised to see how distinct the flavors in scotch were. Unlike wine tasting, where the I find the flavors more hidden, in scotch, it was in your face, you cannot miss the fruitiness, nor the smokiness....
We tasted the following scotch:
Glengoyne 17
This was very light, and very fruity, the favor of crispy apple will hit your senses immediately.
Region: Highlands
District: Highlands
Body: Medium, very firm and smooth
Palate: Rich flavors, clean fruitiness
Macallan 15 Fine Oak
This is extremely popular here in the US - almost everyone drinks Macallan. This was as if the scotch was dipped in caramel.
Region: Highlands
District: Speyside
Body: Full, smooth
Palate: Toffeeish, gently fruity
Dalmore Cigar Malt
Most interesting texture to the tongue, so smooth and slippery, oil like... and slides right through the tongue and down the throat.
Region: Highlands
District: Northern Highlands
Body: Firm, smooth
Palate: A hint of rum butter, hint of burnt sugar and faint smoke
Highland Park 18
Region: Highlands
District: Island Orkney
Body: Remarkably smooth
Palate: Lightly salty, pine nuts
Laphroaig
One gentleman at the tasting described this scotch as "Highland Park on steroids" - but to me, it was more like hospital patient smoking on his death bed. To me, it smelled like a pharmacy. It does have a nice smoky sensation, but after taking a few sips, everyone's breath smelled as if they have just been smoking
Region: Islay
District: South Shore
Body: Medium, oaky
Palate: Seaweed, salty, oily
Macallan Amber Liquor (Scotch)
yummm..... alcoholic maple syrup! If I through this on my morning pancakes it would be perfect. A perfect substitute for cognac, port or any after dinner drink!
We tasted the following scotch:
Glengoyne 17
This was very light, and very fruity, the favor of crispy apple will hit your senses immediately.
Region: Highlands
District: Highlands
Body: Medium, very firm and smooth
Palate: Rich flavors, clean fruitiness
Macallan 15 Fine Oak
This is extremely popular here in the US - almost everyone drinks Macallan. This was as if the scotch was dipped in caramel.
Region: Highlands
District: Speyside
Body: Full, smooth
Palate: Toffeeish, gently fruity
Dalmore Cigar Malt
Most interesting texture to the tongue, so smooth and slippery, oil like... and slides right through the tongue and down the throat.
Region: Highlands
District: Northern Highlands
Body: Firm, smooth
Palate: A hint of rum butter, hint of burnt sugar and faint smoke
Highland Park 18
Region: Highlands
District: Island Orkney
Body: Remarkably smooth
Palate: Lightly salty, pine nuts
Laphroaig
One gentleman at the tasting described this scotch as "Highland Park on steroids" - but to me, it was more like hospital patient smoking on his death bed. To me, it smelled like a pharmacy. It does have a nice smoky sensation, but after taking a few sips, everyone's breath smelled as if they have just been smoking
Region: Islay
District: South Shore
Body: Medium, oaky
Palate: Seaweed, salty, oily
Macallan Amber Liquor (Scotch)
yummm..... alcoholic maple syrup! If I through this on my morning pancakes it would be perfect. A perfect substitute for cognac, port or any after dinner drink!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Speed Dating
Speed Dating - I seem to have just discovered this new phenomena. But apparently, everyone else in the entire country knew about it. Never knew it was so popular - but I guess people do have trouble meeting people, hence might as well pay to go to some event where you know you will not be stuck with someone that bore you to death, and you know that is looking for the same thing that you are as well - love - or casual fun.
So ladies and gentlemen - here are the sites to try:
hurrydate.com
speeddating.com
8minutedating.com
pre-dating.com
This is the modern way - no more wasting time on blind dates - we want results and we want them fast, so time to meet the love of your life in 4min!
So ladies and gentlemen - here are the sites to try:
hurrydate.com
speeddating.com
8minutedating.com
pre-dating.com
This is the modern way - no more wasting time on blind dates - we want results and we want them fast, so time to meet the love of your life in 4min!
Friday, February 16, 2007
The Modern Gold Digger
The new way of a gold digger - no more lying - lets be straight forward!
the article below on was MSNBC
Does beauty plus money equal love?
TODAY
Updated: 2:58 p.m. ET Feb 14, 2007
Bobbie Thomas
TODAY style editor
Meeting a rich guy — it's long been the secret goal of many on the dating scene. And now a company called Pocket Change has made it official, hosting speed dating events for beautiful women and rich men.
“Women want money in a man, men want beauty in a woman — this is a factual force of nature,” states the Pocket Change Web site. “Women don’t ask ‘So, what does he do for a living?’ because they’re interested in his personality and guys don’t ask ‘is she hot?’ because they’re concerned with character. Guys know that money buys them the car, the house and the trophy wife.”
As a single girl in the city, I bravely accepted my TODAY assignment to “investigate” this new trend in dating: Does pretty girl plus rich guy equal true love forever?
I slipped on my LBD and patent pumps, grabbed my clutch, pen and paper — trying to channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw, in the hopes of helping all those gals searching for love.
“Why wealthy men and beautiful women? The reason that we're doing this is because we really attempted to simplify dating,” said Jeremy Abelson of Pocket Change, a weekly newsletter detailing the most expensive goods and services found in New York and sponsor of the speed dating event.
Applicants needed to meet some basic criteria — guys who are 25 and under must make at least $200,000 a year, and men between the ages of 26 and 30, $300,000 a year. Older than 30? The required income level jumps to $500,000.
“For the women, the application process is very simple,” said Abelson. “You need to be beautiful. End of story. You go to the Web site, you upload five pictures. Those five pictures are judged. If you make the cut, you are accepted.”
The participants felt the requirements were fair ...
“I definitely would agree with some people who say ... how can women be judged for their beauty and men just for their wallet,” said Ana Maria Nacvalovaice, fellow speed dater. “Coming to an event like this allows me peace of mind that the people who are here tonight have been carefully screened.”
“I was kind of hesitant. I thought it was a little — maybe you're shallow. But, you know, and then I started thinking about it and I was like, you know, it would be probably a great way to meet — a really good-looking girl,” said Shawn Vardi.
In just two weeks, the company screened 950 applications, narrowing the field down to 40 men and 40 women.
“I think that the concept works because it is so simple. What do men want? They want beauty. What do women want? They prefer successful men,” explained Abelson.
“Why is such a good-looking, successful guy or a pretty, smart, sexy woman coming to you? Why would they come to speed dating?,” pondered Janis Spindel of Serious Matchmaking Inc. “Guess what? This is New York. It's a very tough city, just like any other city with dating. It's very hard to meet the right person.”
Many singles seemed optimistic about finding a potential mate. “The possibility of meeting a lot of wonderful, smart, successful men. That's always appealing,” said Saila Smith.
Let the games begin!We had three minutes with each of our dates to see if beauty and bank accounts mattered. One interesting encounter epitomized the night:
Vekrum: Hi.
Bobbie: Hi. Bobbie.
Verkrum: Vekrum.
Bobbie: Nice to meet you.
Vekrum [to Bobbie]: You just got upgraded, baby.
As the night wore on, I began to notice how differently the men and women approached this speed dating game. Most of the guys checked yes or no, immediately after learning the woman's name, while the ladies waited until the end of their meetings to scribble down notes on potential suitors.
And much to my disappointment, the men appeared at a loss for words when I revealed that I was financially independent and loved my job. Just as women might rely on their beauty, some men are just as guilty of relying on their bank accounts to impress dates.
So does wealth and beauty equal love? “It's a social experiment,” offered Abelson. “Do I think that there will be relationships after this? Absolutely.”
And Spindel explained, “This is not about getting a date. Even though it's called speed dating, these people are coming to hopefully find a committed relationship that's going to eventually, down the road, lead towards marriage.”
My fellow daters remained positive about the experience. “I very much hope I meet someone here tonight who is interesting and I perhaps have a wonderful future with,” said Nacvalovaice. “If not, then I'll have a great story to tell for years to come.”
“And will I find my husband tonight? [Laughter] Who knows, you know?,” wondered Smith.
But for me, chemistry and attraction trumps all, even that black American Express card!
the article below on was MSNBC
Does beauty plus money equal love?
TODAY
Updated: 2:58 p.m. ET Feb 14, 2007
Bobbie Thomas
TODAY style editor
Meeting a rich guy — it's long been the secret goal of many on the dating scene. And now a company called Pocket Change has made it official, hosting speed dating events for beautiful women and rich men.
“Women want money in a man, men want beauty in a woman — this is a factual force of nature,” states the Pocket Change Web site. “Women don’t ask ‘So, what does he do for a living?’ because they’re interested in his personality and guys don’t ask ‘is she hot?’ because they’re concerned with character. Guys know that money buys them the car, the house and the trophy wife.”
As a single girl in the city, I bravely accepted my TODAY assignment to “investigate” this new trend in dating: Does pretty girl plus rich guy equal true love forever?
I slipped on my LBD and patent pumps, grabbed my clutch, pen and paper — trying to channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw, in the hopes of helping all those gals searching for love.
“Why wealthy men and beautiful women? The reason that we're doing this is because we really attempted to simplify dating,” said Jeremy Abelson of Pocket Change, a weekly newsletter detailing the most expensive goods and services found in New York and sponsor of the speed dating event.
Applicants needed to meet some basic criteria — guys who are 25 and under must make at least $200,000 a year, and men between the ages of 26 and 30, $300,000 a year. Older than 30? The required income level jumps to $500,000.
“For the women, the application process is very simple,” said Abelson. “You need to be beautiful. End of story. You go to the Web site, you upload five pictures. Those five pictures are judged. If you make the cut, you are accepted.”
The participants felt the requirements were fair ...
“I definitely would agree with some people who say ... how can women be judged for their beauty and men just for their wallet,” said Ana Maria Nacvalovaice, fellow speed dater. “Coming to an event like this allows me peace of mind that the people who are here tonight have been carefully screened.”
“I was kind of hesitant. I thought it was a little — maybe you're shallow. But, you know, and then I started thinking about it and I was like, you know, it would be probably a great way to meet — a really good-looking girl,” said Shawn Vardi.
In just two weeks, the company screened 950 applications, narrowing the field down to 40 men and 40 women.
“I think that the concept works because it is so simple. What do men want? They want beauty. What do women want? They prefer successful men,” explained Abelson.
“Why is such a good-looking, successful guy or a pretty, smart, sexy woman coming to you? Why would they come to speed dating?,” pondered Janis Spindel of Serious Matchmaking Inc. “Guess what? This is New York. It's a very tough city, just like any other city with dating. It's very hard to meet the right person.”
Many singles seemed optimistic about finding a potential mate. “The possibility of meeting a lot of wonderful, smart, successful men. That's always appealing,” said Saila Smith.
Let the games begin!We had three minutes with each of our dates to see if beauty and bank accounts mattered. One interesting encounter epitomized the night:
Vekrum: Hi.
Bobbie: Hi. Bobbie.
Verkrum: Vekrum.
Bobbie: Nice to meet you.
Vekrum [to Bobbie]: You just got upgraded, baby.
As the night wore on, I began to notice how differently the men and women approached this speed dating game. Most of the guys checked yes or no, immediately after learning the woman's name, while the ladies waited until the end of their meetings to scribble down notes on potential suitors.
And much to my disappointment, the men appeared at a loss for words when I revealed that I was financially independent and loved my job. Just as women might rely on their beauty, some men are just as guilty of relying on their bank accounts to impress dates.
So does wealth and beauty equal love? “It's a social experiment,” offered Abelson. “Do I think that there will be relationships after this? Absolutely.”
And Spindel explained, “This is not about getting a date. Even though it's called speed dating, these people are coming to hopefully find a committed relationship that's going to eventually, down the road, lead towards marriage.”
My fellow daters remained positive about the experience. “I very much hope I meet someone here tonight who is interesting and I perhaps have a wonderful future with,” said Nacvalovaice. “If not, then I'll have a great story to tell for years to come.”
“And will I find my husband tonight? [Laughter] Who knows, you know?,” wondered Smith.
But for me, chemistry and attraction trumps all, even that black American Express card!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Hotter than hot
What is more attractive than a smart women who has all the right looks?
take your pick and vote for this years ERISA Hottie: Female Nominees
take your pick and vote for this years ERISA Hottie: Female Nominees
Hottie at every age
These are not your average ERISA attorneys - but they are the nominees of the year! So ladies, stop thinking ERISA attorneys are all overweight ugly textualists - here are your pick of this years hotties!
http://www.abovethelaw.com/2006/09/erisa_hotties_your_male_nomine_1.php#more
http://www.abovethelaw.com/2006/09/erisa_hotties_your_male_nomine_1.php#more
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Wake up and smell the cosmopolitan
Wake up and smell the cosmpolitan....
My friend found this posting on craigslist - and I must admit - so true! I want to meet the author.
Once again, I witness the insanity with bemusement and equilibrium. I’m at an event this weekend with an acquaintance of mine, one of the most attractive women I know. She’s not quite drop dead, movie star gorgeous, but close, kind of “girl next door” meets playboy: blonde, blue, perfect features, petite, very feminine. The thing is, she knows it. Not in a hugely stuck up way, but she carries within herself a deep sense of entitlement, for she has always been the prettiest girl, and along with that has come a set of expectations and exemptions.
Now I’m not jealous, though at times have been envious. I’m attractive, cute, been called beautiful even, with nice features—but not model looks. I’m a size 6, not 2, I have a cute bob, not the sexy long locks, I forget to do my nails, and I usually wear pants to work, not a tight, designer skirt suit.
So anyway we’re at an event, full of young-ish, single-ish attractive people. Within 20 minutes, she’s got a few guys competing for her attention. I make eye contact with a cute, but not hot, guy, you know the one, a bit skinny, wearing khakis and glasses. He wanders over, we chat, I introduce him to my friend and bam….his eyes glaze over and he throws his hat into the ring with all the other men vying for her attention. I might as well be invisible, and at this point am free to watch the spectacle with bemusement: three or four men competing for her attention, a few more hovering around, wondering if there might be a strategic inroad at some point.
Now, some of those guys might—might--score a number. Maybe—if you play your cards right. But that one—the cute but not too hot, not too tall, not too rich guy—you’re wasting your time. For while she may happily accept a 14$ martini from you, she’ll turn to me, roll her eyes, and mouth “save me.” Or you, super smart policy wonk who is bedazzled by her pearly whites, you don’t know that she actually told me she prefers frat boys. She’s never even heard of Thomas Friedman, much less read an editorial. And you, the one who is under 5’10” and a grad student? Forget it. Too short, too poor.
Now, you might intuit some of these things, but go for it anyway. Here are a few things you probably can’t intuit. She’s never traveled further afield than Mexico. She spends her weekends shopping, working out, and getting ready. She thinks dating a guy who drives a Porsche is an accomplishment. More to the point, although she is not unkind, she’s always been coddled because of her looks and consequently has never been forced to develop other characteristics—like compassion, empathy, strength, sexiness, vulnerability.
And you know what else? She’s like a dead fish in bed and finds anything beyond blindfolds to be wholly unacceptable and disgusting (This straight from an ex boyfriend of hers, who admitted it to a friend of mine). Why? She’s never had to learn that looking good is not enough once you’re past the bar scene. What you also don’t know is that standing near here, outside the spotlight, is another woman—attractive, strong, accomplished, adventurous (in all ways) funny, and down to earth. The kind of woman who appreciates your gesture of buying a drink, but does not expect it, who actually prefers grounded, if imperfect, men to "hot guys", who doesn’t do her nails because she’s always breaking them going camping or building shelves, is not interested in the car you drive (she rides a bike to work) but is interested in what you’re reading, what you’re thinking, what you want, what turns you on--who you are, not what you appear to be or what you can do for her.
So all you guys complaining that all DC women want are tall, rich, hot stupid guys and there are no nice, normal, cool women--, its, time to wake up and smell the cosmopolitan. She’s only hard to find because you—blinded by the blonde—aren’t looking.
My friend found this posting on craigslist - and I must admit - so true! I want to meet the author.
Once again, I witness the insanity with bemusement and equilibrium. I’m at an event this weekend with an acquaintance of mine, one of the most attractive women I know. She’s not quite drop dead, movie star gorgeous, but close, kind of “girl next door” meets playboy: blonde, blue, perfect features, petite, very feminine. The thing is, she knows it. Not in a hugely stuck up way, but she carries within herself a deep sense of entitlement, for she has always been the prettiest girl, and along with that has come a set of expectations and exemptions.
Now I’m not jealous, though at times have been envious. I’m attractive, cute, been called beautiful even, with nice features—but not model looks. I’m a size 6, not 2, I have a cute bob, not the sexy long locks, I forget to do my nails, and I usually wear pants to work, not a tight, designer skirt suit.
So anyway we’re at an event, full of young-ish, single-ish attractive people. Within 20 minutes, she’s got a few guys competing for her attention. I make eye contact with a cute, but not hot, guy, you know the one, a bit skinny, wearing khakis and glasses. He wanders over, we chat, I introduce him to my friend and bam….his eyes glaze over and he throws his hat into the ring with all the other men vying for her attention. I might as well be invisible, and at this point am free to watch the spectacle with bemusement: three or four men competing for her attention, a few more hovering around, wondering if there might be a strategic inroad at some point.
Now, some of those guys might—might--score a number. Maybe—if you play your cards right. But that one—the cute but not too hot, not too tall, not too rich guy—you’re wasting your time. For while she may happily accept a 14$ martini from you, she’ll turn to me, roll her eyes, and mouth “save me.” Or you, super smart policy wonk who is bedazzled by her pearly whites, you don’t know that she actually told me she prefers frat boys. She’s never even heard of Thomas Friedman, much less read an editorial. And you, the one who is under 5’10” and a grad student? Forget it. Too short, too poor.
Now, you might intuit some of these things, but go for it anyway. Here are a few things you probably can’t intuit. She’s never traveled further afield than Mexico. She spends her weekends shopping, working out, and getting ready. She thinks dating a guy who drives a Porsche is an accomplishment. More to the point, although she is not unkind, she’s always been coddled because of her looks and consequently has never been forced to develop other characteristics—like compassion, empathy, strength, sexiness, vulnerability.
And you know what else? She’s like a dead fish in bed and finds anything beyond blindfolds to be wholly unacceptable and disgusting (This straight from an ex boyfriend of hers, who admitted it to a friend of mine). Why? She’s never had to learn that looking good is not enough once you’re past the bar scene. What you also don’t know is that standing near here, outside the spotlight, is another woman—attractive, strong, accomplished, adventurous (in all ways) funny, and down to earth. The kind of woman who appreciates your gesture of buying a drink, but does not expect it, who actually prefers grounded, if imperfect, men to "hot guys", who doesn’t do her nails because she’s always breaking them going camping or building shelves, is not interested in the car you drive (she rides a bike to work) but is interested in what you’re reading, what you’re thinking, what you want, what turns you on--who you are, not what you appear to be or what you can do for her.
So all you guys complaining that all DC women want are tall, rich, hot stupid guys and there are no nice, normal, cool women--, its, time to wake up and smell the cosmopolitan. She’s only hard to find because you—blinded by the blonde—aren’t looking.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Single and Fabulous?
Here is an interst article from the NY times:
Why did they have to use a picture of a woman with her cat?
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5070&en=f4c43dd44de05994&ex=1169614800&emc=eta1
51% of Women Are Now Living Without Spouse
By SAM ROBERTS
Published: January 16, 2007
For what experts say is probably the first time, more American women are living without a husband than with one, according to a New York Times analysis of census results.
Erik S. Lesser for The New York Times
“A gentleman asked me to marry him and I said no. I told him, ‘I’m just beginning to fly again, I’m just beginning to be me. Don’t take that away.’”ELISSA B. TERRISDivorced in 2005 after being married for 34 years.
In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.
Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits.
Several factors are driving the statistical shift. At one end of the age spectrum, women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners more often and for longer periods. At the other end, women are living longer as widows and, after a divorce, are more likely than men to delay remarriage, sometimes delighting in their newfound freedom.
In addition, marriage rates among black women remain low. Only about 30 percent of black women are living with a spouse, according to the Census Bureau, compared with about 49 percent of Hispanic women, 55 percent of non-Hispanic white women and more than 60 percent of Asian women.
In a relatively small number of cases, the living arrangement is temporary, because the husbands are working out of town, are in the military or are institutionalized. But while most women eventually marry, the larger trend is unmistakable.
“This is yet another of the inexorable signs that there is no going back to a world where we can assume that marriage is the main institution that organizes people’s lives,” said Prof. Stephanie Coontz, director of public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit research group. “Most of these women will marry, or have married. But on average, Americans now spend half their adult lives outside marriage.”
Professor Coontz said this was probably unprecedented with the possible exception of major wartime mobilizations and when black couples were separated during slavery.
William H. Frey, a demographer with the Brookings Institution, a research group in Washington, described the shift as “a clear tipping point, reflecting the culmination of post-1960 trends associated with greater independence and more flexible lifestyles for women.”
“For better or worse, women are less dependent on men or the institution of marriage,” Dr. Frey said. “Younger women understand this better, and are preparing to live longer parts of their lives alone or with nonmarried partners. For many older boomer and senior women, the institution of marriage did not hold the promise they might have hoped for, growing up in an ‘Ozzie and Harriet’ era.”
Emily Zuzik, a 32-year-old musician and model who lives in the East Village of Manhattan, said she was not surprised by the trend.
“A lot of my friends are divorced or single or living alone,” Ms. Zuzik said. “I know a lot of people in their 30s who have roommates.”
Ms. Zuzik has lived with a boyfriend twice, once in California where the couple registered as domestic partners to qualify for his health insurance plan. “I don’t plan to live with anyone else again until I am married,” she said, “and I may opt to keep a place of my own even then.”
Linda Barth, a 56-year-old magazine editor in Houston who has never married, said, “I used to divide my women friends into single friends and married friends. Now that doesn’t seem to be an issue.”
Sheila Jamison, who also lives in the East Village and works for a media company, is 45 and single. She says her family believes she would have had a better chance of finding a husband had she attended a historically black college instead of Duke.
“Considering all the weddings I attended in the ’80s that have ended so very, very badly, I consider myself straight up lucky,” Ms. Jamison said. “I have not sworn off marriage, but if I do wed, it will be to have a companion with whom I can travel and play parlor games in my old age.”
Carol Crenshaw, 57, of Roswell, Ga., was divorced in 2005 after 33 years and says she is in no hurry to marry again.
“I’m in a place in my life where I’m comfortable,” said Ms. Crenshaw, who has two grown sons. “I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. I was a wife and a mother. I don’t feel like I need to do that again.”
Similarly, Shelley Fidler, 59, a public policy adviser at a law firm, has sworn off marriage. She moved from rural Virginia to the vibrant Adams Morgan neighborhood of Washington, D.C., when her 30-year marriage ended.
“The benefits were completely unforeseen for me,” Ms. Fidler said, “the free time, the amount of time I get to spend with friends, the time I have alone, which I value tremendously, the flexibility in terms of work, travel and cultural events.”
Among the more than 117 million women over the age of 15, according to the marital status category in the Census Bureau’s latest American Community Survey, 63 million are married. Of those, 3.1 million are legally separated and 2.4 million said their husbands were not living at home for one reason or another.
That brings the number of American women actually living with a spouse to 57.5 million, compared with the 59.9 million who are single or whose husbands were not living at home when the survey was taken in 2005.
Some of those situations, which the census identifies as “spouse absent” and “other,” are temporary, and, of course, even some people who describe themselves as separated eventually reunite with their spouses.
Over all, a larger share of men are married and living with their spouse — about 53 percent compared with 49 percent among women.
“Since women continue to outlive men, they have reached the nonmarital tipping point — more nonmarried than married,” Dr. Frey said. “This suggests that most girls growing up today can look forward to spending more of their lives outside of a traditional marriage.”
Pamela J. Smock, a researcher at the University of Michigan Population Studies Center, agreed, saying that “changing patterns of courtship, marriage, and that we are living longer lives all play a role.”
“Men also remarry more quickly than women after a divorce,” Ms. Smock added, “and both are increasingly likely to cohabit rather than remarry after a divorce.”
The proportion of married people, especially among younger age groups, has been declining for decades. Between 1950 and 2000, the share of women 15-to-24 who were married plummeted to 16 percent, from 42 percent. Among 25-to-34-year-olds, the proportion dropped to 58 percent, from 82 percent.
“Although we can help people ‘do’ marriage better, it is simply delusional to construct social policy or make personal life decisions on the basis that you can count on people spending most of their adult lives in marriage,” said Professor Coontz, the author of “Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage.”
Besse Gardner, 24, said she and her boyfriend met as college freshmen and started living together last April “for all the wrong reasons” — they found a great apartment on the beach in Los Angeles.
“We do not see living together as an end or even for the rest of our lives — it’s just fun right now,” Ms. Gardner said. “My roommate is someone I’d be thrilled to marry one day, but it just doesn’t make sense right now.”
Ms. Crenshaw said that some of the women in her support group for divorced women were miserable, but that she was surprised how happy she was to be single again.
“That’s not how I grew up,” she said. “That’s not how society thinks. It’s a marriage culture.”
Elissa B. Terris, 59, of Marietta, Ga., divorced in 2005 after being married for 34 years and raising a daughter, who is now an adult.
“A gentleman asked me to marry him and I said no,” she recalled. “I told him, ‘I’m just beginning to fly again, I’m just beginning to be me. Don’t take that away.’ ”
“Marriage kind of aged me because there weren’t options,” Ms. Terris said. “There was only one way to go. Now I have choices. One night I slept on the other side of the bed, and I thought, I like this side.”
She said she was returning to college to get a master’s degree (her former husband “didn’t want me to do that because I was more educated than he was”), had taken photography classes and was auditioning for a play.
“Once you go through something you think will kill you and it doesn’t,” she said, “every day is like a present.”
Why did they have to use a picture of a woman with her cat?
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5070&en=f4c43dd44de05994&ex=1169614800&emc=eta1
51% of Women Are Now Living Without Spouse
By SAM ROBERTS
Published: January 16, 2007
For what experts say is probably the first time, more American women are living without a husband than with one, according to a New York Times analysis of census results.
Erik S. Lesser for The New York Times
“A gentleman asked me to marry him and I said no. I told him, ‘I’m just beginning to fly again, I’m just beginning to be me. Don’t take that away.’”ELISSA B. TERRISDivorced in 2005 after being married for 34 years.
In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.
Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits.
Several factors are driving the statistical shift. At one end of the age spectrum, women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners more often and for longer periods. At the other end, women are living longer as widows and, after a divorce, are more likely than men to delay remarriage, sometimes delighting in their newfound freedom.
In addition, marriage rates among black women remain low. Only about 30 percent of black women are living with a spouse, according to the Census Bureau, compared with about 49 percent of Hispanic women, 55 percent of non-Hispanic white women and more than 60 percent of Asian women.
In a relatively small number of cases, the living arrangement is temporary, because the husbands are working out of town, are in the military or are institutionalized. But while most women eventually marry, the larger trend is unmistakable.
“This is yet another of the inexorable signs that there is no going back to a world where we can assume that marriage is the main institution that organizes people’s lives,” said Prof. Stephanie Coontz, director of public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit research group. “Most of these women will marry, or have married. But on average, Americans now spend half their adult lives outside marriage.”
Professor Coontz said this was probably unprecedented with the possible exception of major wartime mobilizations and when black couples were separated during slavery.
William H. Frey, a demographer with the Brookings Institution, a research group in Washington, described the shift as “a clear tipping point, reflecting the culmination of post-1960 trends associated with greater independence and more flexible lifestyles for women.”
“For better or worse, women are less dependent on men or the institution of marriage,” Dr. Frey said. “Younger women understand this better, and are preparing to live longer parts of their lives alone or with nonmarried partners. For many older boomer and senior women, the institution of marriage did not hold the promise they might have hoped for, growing up in an ‘Ozzie and Harriet’ era.”
Emily Zuzik, a 32-year-old musician and model who lives in the East Village of Manhattan, said she was not surprised by the trend.
“A lot of my friends are divorced or single or living alone,” Ms. Zuzik said. “I know a lot of people in their 30s who have roommates.”
Ms. Zuzik has lived with a boyfriend twice, once in California where the couple registered as domestic partners to qualify for his health insurance plan. “I don’t plan to live with anyone else again until I am married,” she said, “and I may opt to keep a place of my own even then.”
Linda Barth, a 56-year-old magazine editor in Houston who has never married, said, “I used to divide my women friends into single friends and married friends. Now that doesn’t seem to be an issue.”
Sheila Jamison, who also lives in the East Village and works for a media company, is 45 and single. She says her family believes she would have had a better chance of finding a husband had she attended a historically black college instead of Duke.
“Considering all the weddings I attended in the ’80s that have ended so very, very badly, I consider myself straight up lucky,” Ms. Jamison said. “I have not sworn off marriage, but if I do wed, it will be to have a companion with whom I can travel and play parlor games in my old age.”
Carol Crenshaw, 57, of Roswell, Ga., was divorced in 2005 after 33 years and says she is in no hurry to marry again.
“I’m in a place in my life where I’m comfortable,” said Ms. Crenshaw, who has two grown sons. “I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. I was a wife and a mother. I don’t feel like I need to do that again.”
Similarly, Shelley Fidler, 59, a public policy adviser at a law firm, has sworn off marriage. She moved from rural Virginia to the vibrant Adams Morgan neighborhood of Washington, D.C., when her 30-year marriage ended.
“The benefits were completely unforeseen for me,” Ms. Fidler said, “the free time, the amount of time I get to spend with friends, the time I have alone, which I value tremendously, the flexibility in terms of work, travel and cultural events.”
Among the more than 117 million women over the age of 15, according to the marital status category in the Census Bureau’s latest American Community Survey, 63 million are married. Of those, 3.1 million are legally separated and 2.4 million said their husbands were not living at home for one reason or another.
That brings the number of American women actually living with a spouse to 57.5 million, compared with the 59.9 million who are single or whose husbands were not living at home when the survey was taken in 2005.
Some of those situations, which the census identifies as “spouse absent” and “other,” are temporary, and, of course, even some people who describe themselves as separated eventually reunite with their spouses.
Over all, a larger share of men are married and living with their spouse — about 53 percent compared with 49 percent among women.
“Since women continue to outlive men, they have reached the nonmarital tipping point — more nonmarried than married,” Dr. Frey said. “This suggests that most girls growing up today can look forward to spending more of their lives outside of a traditional marriage.”
Pamela J. Smock, a researcher at the University of Michigan Population Studies Center, agreed, saying that “changing patterns of courtship, marriage, and that we are living longer lives all play a role.”
“Men also remarry more quickly than women after a divorce,” Ms. Smock added, “and both are increasingly likely to cohabit rather than remarry after a divorce.”
The proportion of married people, especially among younger age groups, has been declining for decades. Between 1950 and 2000, the share of women 15-to-24 who were married plummeted to 16 percent, from 42 percent. Among 25-to-34-year-olds, the proportion dropped to 58 percent, from 82 percent.
“Although we can help people ‘do’ marriage better, it is simply delusional to construct social policy or make personal life decisions on the basis that you can count on people spending most of their adult lives in marriage,” said Professor Coontz, the author of “Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage.”
Besse Gardner, 24, said she and her boyfriend met as college freshmen and started living together last April “for all the wrong reasons” — they found a great apartment on the beach in Los Angeles.
“We do not see living together as an end or even for the rest of our lives — it’s just fun right now,” Ms. Gardner said. “My roommate is someone I’d be thrilled to marry one day, but it just doesn’t make sense right now.”
Ms. Crenshaw said that some of the women in her support group for divorced women were miserable, but that she was surprised how happy she was to be single again.
“That’s not how I grew up,” she said. “That’s not how society thinks. It’s a marriage culture.”
Elissa B. Terris, 59, of Marietta, Ga., divorced in 2005 after being married for 34 years and raising a daughter, who is now an adult.
“A gentleman asked me to marry him and I said no,” she recalled. “I told him, ‘I’m just beginning to fly again, I’m just beginning to be me. Don’t take that away.’ ”
“Marriage kind of aged me because there weren’t options,” Ms. Terris said. “There was only one way to go. Now I have choices. One night I slept on the other side of the bed, and I thought, I like this side.”
She said she was returning to college to get a master’s degree (her former husband “didn’t want me to do that because I was more educated than he was”), had taken photography classes and was auditioning for a play.
“Once you go through something you think will kill you and it doesn’t,” she said, “every day is like a present.”
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